


Last Words

by silvermoongirl10



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Related, Episodes 3x22 and 4x01, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Small appearance made by Voight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-06-16 05:03:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15429588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvermoongirl10/pseuds/silvermoongirl10
Summary: A slight AU of episodes 3x22 and 4x01. Kelly is still reeling from the whole Rice situation, including his argument with Casey, but when he gets home, ready to admit he was wrong about Rice. He finds Matt isn't there, that his undercover stint has gone wrong, and that if the worst has happened...Kelly will always regret the last words he said to Matt.





	Last Words

**Author's Note:**

> This one-shot has been a work in process for far too long considering I had started it back in February. I don’t know if I will write anymore Chicago Fire stories in the future as I admit that right now I have no story ideas at all (and that goes for all the fandoms I write for, which hopefully will change at some point).
> 
> I’m sorry if this story annoys fans of Gabby considering she’s not in this story and it’s timed with her actress’ departure from the series, and I really hope she left because she wanted to and I hope she really enjoys her next project.  
> Ever since 4x01 I have always felt that the writers missed out when writing the aftermath of Casey’s time undercover, I was frustrated that his argument with Severide was never addressed and that Severide never really apologised for the things he said to Casey about Rice. So this is where this story stems from.
> 
> Its been so long since I’ve written anything so I apologise in advance if it feels rushed, disjointed or if there are any mistakes, (I’m posting this now because I just really want to post this story so I will come back and edit it if need be, so just let me know if some changes are needed) but despite all that I hope you enjoy reading this!

Kelly opened the front door warily. He and Matt hadn’t been on the best of terms recently over the whole Truck and Squad argument that stemmed from Otis accusing Rice of ducking. Kelly had felt torn, on the one hand, there was his long-time friend Rice who he felt was being unfairly judged and on the other was Casey, another long-time friend who was standing up for Otis and Truck. He shook his head, what else did he except from Matt? Matt was just standing up for one of his guys, someone he had known for their entire career. Otis was the first Candidate Casey had helped train as a Lieutenant. He was doing the same as Kelly, both of them standing up for their men.

What made it worse was that Truck was right all along. Rice had been ducking, even with an understandable reason, but ducking nonetheless. The last words he’d said to Matt rung around and around his head, because of the whole going undercover thing, Matt had no idea that Rice had been told to leave fifty-one. The last thing he said to Matt was not something you said to a best friend about to go undercover. He hadn’t even told him to be careful and watch his back.

So he opened their front door, to be met with a mess that definitely had not been there when he left yesterday for his shift. A table and lamp were lying sprawled on the floor, bits of glass from the lamp sprayed out in front. “Matt?” he called out as he cautiously walked further into the apartment. His footsteps were silent, as his eyes roamed the apartment in a panic. Most of the apartment was still tidy, but there was the odd bit of mess, which was more worrying, it was like Matt had invited someone in and for them to turn around and attack him. Controlled, like Matt was targeted. He stepped towards the kitchen his heartbeat pounding in his ears, he wanted to turn back, to run and never see the sight he was petrified that he was about to find.

The first thing his eyes were drawn to was the pool of blood; Kelly stopped and grasped the back of the nearest chair for support. His eyes followed the blood to where it clotted the light blonde hair, he took a shuddering breath. All at once feeling immense relief that it wasn’t Matt lying there, but at the same time being filled with guilt, while looking at the woman on the floor. With a shaky hand he pulled out his phone and called Antonio, he tried to reign in his panic while he explained what was happening.

Waiting for Antonio to arrive was torture. He moved away from the woman and sat on the sofa, his head in his hands. As he waited for Antonio to arrive he kept replaying the last conversation he had with Matt.

_Kelly stood there defiant and as he stepped forward he said, “I don’t mind catching flack, and I don’t mind confrontation. What I do mind is a bunch of guys making false accusations and trying to railroad one of my men out of here.”_

_Casey shook his head, “One of your old friends, you mean.”_

_Hearing the faint hurt in Casey’s voice, Kelly stressed, “That has nothing to do with this.”_

_“That has everything to do with this!” exclaimed Casey; “You’re blind because of your friendship with this guy. You’re looking the other way and letting him skate.”_

_Seeing Casey starting to walk away and not wiling to back down, Kelly shot out, “I’m not blind, Casey. I’m just not gonna go pissing on a firefighter who’s proven himself.”_

_Casey stopped and then started to walk towards him, “Did you even check his story?”_

_“No, I didn’t check his story. I take him at his word.” As soon as he said it Kelly was aware that he was starting to let his frustration get the better of him._

_Casey just gestured with his hand and with disappointment lacing his tone said, “There it is, right there. Gospel according to Severide.”_

_Suddenly anger just surged inside Kelly and he just snapped. “You know what? Honestly, go screw yourself. I’m sick of it.”_

_“Maybe you ought to listen to the guy who took you in when you were on your arse.”_

_“Yeah, I liked that guy a whole lot better when he wasn’t a sanctimonious prick.”_

Kelly gripped his hair and muttered angrily to himself. After everything it turned out he was wrong and Squad had been right in what they were saying about Rice. He shook his head and couldn’t stop the feeling of guilt welling up inside him. His last words to Matt rang through his head, and he cursed himself for not even calling Matt after Rice was told to leave, not even to say he was sorry.

What felt like hours later, Antonio arrived with Voight and a small army of people who immediately began bustling around the apartment; taking photos and bits of evidence. Through it all, Kelly just sat on the sofa doing his best to answer Antonio and Voight’s questions. It got to a point where Kelly didn’t know anything, he just shook his head and gripped his hair in frustration guessing that if he had actually talked to Matt at all off shift then he might be able to answer most of the questions being asked.

Voight sighed and leaned forward to grip Kelly’s shoulder, “We’ll get him back.” With that he stood up and barked an order and then left the apartment with most of the other people in the apartment.

Antonio stood and looked down at Kelly, “Maybe booked yourself into a hotel? With you know…” he glanced towards the kitchen where the girl was lying.

Kelly nodded, “I will, but once we’ve got Matt back.”

“I’m sorry. We?” asked Antonio.

“Yes. We. I’m coming with you,” stated Kelly as he stood up.

“You can’t Kelly-”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re not a cop for starters!” argued Antonio.

Kelly crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows, “Matt not being a cop didn’t seem to stop you sending him in undercover.” Antonio opened his mouth but was cut off when Kelly continued with a shrug, “And besides, I’ll only follow you there.”

Sighing, Antonio just nodded and gestured for Kelly to follow him to his car. They went outside and got in the car, with sirens blaring towards Nesbitt’s club. Kelly gripped his seat, his heart pounding, wondering and dreading what they were going to find at the club.

They screeched to a halt, as Antonio began to get out of the car, he leaned over and pointed at Kelly, “You stay out here, whatever you hear. You stay here, is that clear?” Kelly just nodded, not trusting himself to talk. With a curt nod, Antonio was running over to the back door, where Voight and the other police officers were waiting.

“Let him be okay, let him be alive, _please_ ,” mumbled Kelly to himself; he mumbled this over and over again. Hoping with everything he had that Matt would be walking out of the back doors on his own two feet. “Battered and bruised I can deal with, but please just let him be alive.”

He watched the doors, watching for movement, he stayed in the car hoping it would block out all the noises he didn’t want to hear. He just wanted Matt out safely, he didn’t need to listen to any gunshots or shouts for an ambulance. He just needed his brother back.

Within minutes he could see people starting to walk out of the club, so he got out of the car and ran towards the building. Nobody stopped him so he figured that the situation had been resolved. He took the fact that no one was rushing around as a good sign that an ambulance was not needed; he refused to acknowledge that this meant the worst had happened, _because it hadn’t._ Matt was _alive._

He slowed to a walk as he entered the building and ignored the men being dragged out in cuffs, he knew if he even looked at them, then he would be in trouble for trying to kill them with his bare hands. He walked further into the club, “Matt!”

“Kelly?” asked a voice he knew very well.

He sighed in relief as Matt walked towards him along the hallway; he took in Matt’s dishevelled appearance, the bruises, grazes and cuts. Once Matt was within reaching distance he pulled his friend into a tight bear hug. “I’m so glad you’re okay Matt,” murmured Kelly.

“I’m okay Kelly, promise,” replied Matt quietly.

 _Not yet, but you will be_ , Kelly thought to himself. He then began to guide Matt outside, feeling better with his brother in his sights and knew that with time Matt would be okay even if it took some time.

Antonio met them outside by his car, “So you guys ready to get out of here?”

“ _Yes_ ,” responded Matt, but then he hesitated, “But we can’t go home…” he looked sideways at Kelly, obviously referring to the woman lying dead in their apartment which had become a crime scene.

“It’s okay, I know,” Kelly said as he pulled Matt into a sideways hug. “So we’re going to a hotel which Antonio is going to pay for,” smirked Kelly.

“Hey! That is not happening! I never agreed to that!” Protested Antonio.

Kelly shrugged, “You convinced Matt to go undercover, and therefore led to our apartment becoming a crime scene. So the least you could do was to pay for our stay at a hotel.”

Antonio glared at Kelly before he gave in, “Fine. I’ll pay, but don’t expect anything more than three stars.”

Matt snorted in amusement as he and Kelly got into the back of Antonio’s car. Kelly watched from the corner of his eye, as Matt seemed to slump in exhaustion, leaning against the car door. He reached over and squeezed his friend’s arm; he got a small smile in response. It wasn’t perfect but Matt was alive and well enough to not need to go to the hospital, so to Kelly everything was just as it should be, but he did know that Matt would still need some support to come to terms with what had happened.

* * *

Later that night sat in their hotel room; they were each lying on their twin beds resting against pillows just watching whatever random thing was on the TV. Kelly watched as Matt fought against going to sleep, his eye lids would slip closed and after a few moments Matt would be pulling his eyes open with effort to re-focus on the TV.

“Just fall asleep Matt, you need it,” commented Kelly, frustrated after half an hour of Matt not letting himself sleep.

Matt shook his head, “I’m fine.”

“The hell you are,” snapped Kelly. “After everything you’ve been through, the first thing to do to recover from it all is to get some rest. Which means falling asleep!”

“I didn’t ask you to stay Kelly!” argued Matt, facing Kelly with an unreadable look. “So if watching me stay awake is too much hard work for you then just go! I’ve been coping with this undercover thing for long enough without you that I don’t need you here!”

Kelly winced as if he had been physically hit. The reminder that he hadn’t been there for Matt stung, but he had only himself to blame for that. The thought of how much Matt had to have been struggling with going undercover, and having to face it all without his best friend, because his best friend was being a stubborn idiot was hard to swallow. “I’m so sorry Matt.”

“It’s fine, forget about it,” responded Matt quietly, but not looking at Kelly, his gaze was firmly fixed on the TV.

“No. It’s not,” Kelly moved so he was sat on the edge of his bed looking across at Matt. “I’m sorry about everything that’s been going on between us, including about Rice.”

At that Matt turned to look at Kelly in shock, “About Rice?” he frowned in confusion.

Kelly smiled ruefully, “I know I’m actually apologising right?” Matt chuckled in response. Kelly then continued, “I really am sorry Matt. Truck was right, Otis was right, _you_ were right. Rice had been ducking, and while I understand his reason, it doesn’t take away the fact that he did it and lied to my face. I believed him and I shouldn’t have, you were right I should have checked up on his mask, I would have done it with anyone else. I…I’m just so sorry for the things I said to you.”

“It’s okay Kelly,” Matt said softly, turning so he was also sat on the edge of his bed.

Kelly shook his head, “Rice was a best friend, but you. You’re my brother and I should have believed you because I know you would never lie about something like that.”

Matt nodded, “We don’t need to worry about this now Kelly.”

Kelly was about to argue, but then he realised that for Matt, who had survived a meeting with Nesbitt and his ‘associates’, that the whole Rice situation would be nothing in comparison. “How you feeling? And be honest.”

Matt shrugged, “Not sure to be honest. I mean…Katya tried to stop Nesbitt and then she was killed and I can’t help but feel that it’s my fault.”

Leaning forward Kelly grasped Matt’s arms. “What happened to her was awful, but in no way shape or form was what happened your fault.” Matt nodded, but Kelly knew that it would take time for Matt to fully come to terms with what had happened. Deciding to lighten the mood, Kelly smirked at Matt before he got up and headed over to the room’s fridge and pulling out two of the few small bottles of drink from inside. He held up the two bottles and said, “Fancy a few drinks courtesy of Antonio?”

Laughing Matt nodded, “That would be nice.”

They then spent the remainder of their night watching TV and having some drinks, before Kelly looked over to see that Matt had finally let himself fall asleep. Smiling he turned the TV off and pulled the covers up over Matt, before switching the lights off and finding his own way to bed. As he drifted off to sleep, Kelly knew that should Matt, or any of his friends, end up doing something risky as Matt going undercover, he would definitely think before he said anything he would regret. The thought of what possibly could been his last ever words to Matt, serving as a reminder of what could have been and how he would have lived the rest of his life racked with guilt over what he shouldn’t have said in anger and what he should have knowing what his brother was going to face without him there to watch his back.

**The end.**


End file.
